Hug Me Constantly

On Wednesday night, I was considering staying in since I keep missing my Thursday morning class due to hangovers (even if it is Intro to US Literature for non-English speakers) but decided to participate in a bar crawl under the conditions that I was allowed to leave early. At the first bar, while waiting for my mohito, I realized there was no way I was leaving early and was going to probably make it to the end. All the bars were so close to where I lived and I couldn't use the metro closing as an excuse since I didn't need to take the metro.

I ended up missing both my classes the next day (the first due to a hangover and the second due to H&M), but all in all I'm pretty sure I'm better off than Ross.

The night before, a few of us went to Cafe Del Sol - a bar near where we live that is in the running for becoming 'our place' - and the entire time Ross was complaining about how he hasn't been drunk in Spain (and how the last time he was actually drunk was June). I guess this discussion drove him to realize how much he wants to drink?

He showed up to the bar crawl totally plastered. He had finished 3/4 of a bottle of 5 euro vodka on an empty stomach in an attempt to end his sobriety streak. He immediately ran up to a girl he didn't know and kept touching her and talking to her. She came over, introduced herself to me, and told me "Ross is cut off. I don't even know Ross, but he is cut off."

We decided this was a good time to give Ross a shot of vodka (from a second 5 euro bottle) that we had snuck in. We poured it out of the plastic waterbottle we had used to smuggle it in, into a used shotglass in front of him. When we handed him the shot his response was "Aww! Did you buy this for me?" He then tried to get everyone around him to dance, even though no music was playing, and he doesn't usually dance. His dance consisted of waving to the bottles and saying "Bottles, bottles bottles" then switching sides and waving to an Audrey Hepburn poster and saying "Audrey Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn, Audrey Hepburn."

On the way to the next bar, we temporarily lost Ross since he refused to move because he was "waiting for someone to pee." He then refused to go into the bar because "this is the place where murderers are murdered." He also kept telling people things like "I'm as drunk as an animal that shoots odors out of it's rectum... A SKUUUNNKKK," and asking people to "Hug me constantly" (he initially only did this to girls but after some provoking it evolved into "Marc, my man, hug me constanlty"). You would think this would motivate him to stop drinking, but instead he continued to buy beer, and ended up puking under the table at the last bar after passing out: