Cruise: For Ross

I recently got back from a cruise with my dad through Croatia, Turkey, and Greece. As an experienced cruiser (not to be confused with "cruise folk," the strange people who take cruises regularly and have adapted their lifestyles so the cruise is their ideal atmosphere), I boarded the boat knowing more or less what to expect. However, my world was flipped upside down when I realized that the hand-sanitizer stations in every room of the boat (and on the docks when we left the boat) were new and unfamiliar. Apparently, the cruise companies have decided they are going to show their customers how they battle disease to avoid an E. Coli outbreak. Unluckily, their hand-sanitizer guards (people who force you to put on the hand-sanitizer in case you don't do it voluntarily) and tongs (used to pick up things like pre-packaged butter and other foodstuffs) were extremely over the top and annoying. By the end of the cruise, I contemplated licking a piece of bread and putting it back in the bread pile in front of a tong guard to see what my punishment would be.

Our first stop was Dubrovnik, Croatia which is probably the smallest capital city in the world. It was extremely pretty, but the entire area could be explored in about twenty minutes. We drove outside of the city for a little while and saw a farming area that was completely flattened in 1991 during the war that they lack funding to rebuild. It was impressive how little was there, but it was still really pretty.

Next, we went to Ephesus, Turkey which was amazing since it has stayed so well preserved in the last 5000 years. The entire time, our tour guide seemed to be pitching the idea that we should love Muslim people. He spent the majority of the tour explaining how much Muslims love Jesus.

After Turkey, we went to Santorini, Greece which is a small town on the top of a mountain. It was one of the most beautiful places I've been. It's main problem was that it's on a giant hill, and everything has to be towed up by donkeys, so a cup of coffee costs roughly 10€.

Finally, we went to Corfu and saw the Achillion. Greece in general has really blue water that looks like someone put a bunch of blue food coloring in it (like they do at Disney Land) which was probably my favorite part.

There is assigned seating at dinner every night, so you always get to sit with the same people! At the end of the cruise, you can order an 8x10 glossy with you and your table-mates. 3 of our table-mates never showed. One was a woman from Michigan named Daryl traveling by herself (one night she got drunk and sang "Desperado" at karaoke) and a couple named Dave and Annie from Seattle. They initially seemed like cruise folk, but turned out to be pretty cool. Dave got mad at the cruise and filled out 8 comment cards (including one where he called the cruise director a "bitch" resulting in her phoning his stateroom and explaining why she is not a bitch - he wrote his name and room number on each card) and him telling us about his rant was pretty funny. They almost crossed the line and became creepy when they told me I could stay with them if I ever come to Seattle, but I'm going to just forget that ever happened.

I never win anything in my life, but on the cruise I managed to with a Sudoku Tournament! It was very exciting. I also got to play a lot of Bingo (which I did not win) and watch a lot of bad karaoke. It was all very exciting.