Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Topless Beach-goers

Although I have seen plenty of topless women (and men!) at the beach since I've been here, for some reason today was especially disturbing. First of all, there was a group of carnies - all topless - with their children - also topless and apparently practicing to become hookers or something of that vein since they were standing on top of rocks whistling at strangers - sitting in front of me at the beach.

To my right, there was a woman with the biggest aereolas I have ever seen in my life, who also had incredible saggy boobs even though she appeared to be in her early twenties (ah, the drawbacks of never owning a bra). She was spending some quality time with her boyfriend who appeared to be around fifteen years old. They enjoy activities like: her lying on top of him (note: topless) while he's lying on his stomach like a beached whale, him shoving her head in the sand and then forcing sand in her hair, her rolling in the sand once she gets wet so she can be wearing a sand t-shirt, etc.

Behind me there was a man who was trying to change out of his speedo and into some clean, tighty-whities to go to work after taking his siesta on the beach. This process somehow required multiple attempts, and a towel that was wrapped "around him" but was really just kind of resting on the ground next to him. He kept clutching his genetalia during these various attempts but it wasn't helping much to conceal it. Meanwhile, a two year old girl was running around him, clearly working on becoming a lesbian and being traumatized by this seemingly old man, but now that I think about it he's probably just 20 and aging really quickly from sleeping on the beach every day.

There was also a family wearing matching speedos taking creepy, sexual pictures of each other. I've noticed that ass-tan levels are very important here. If a guy isn't wearing a speedo, he pulls up his shorts so his upper thighs can still get as tan as possible. I'm just waiting for my first man-thong and then my life will be complete.

1 comment:

student doctor said...

um this might be the funniest thing i've read all day...